end of june

The weather has been odd, one day stormy, the next sunny and warm. Even within a day, or within an hour, rain can pour down and then unexpectedly brilliant blue breaks through.

Such it is with our hearts, one day overcome with sadness, the next day cheerful. Even within a day, or an hour, awash with grief and then illuminated with Light.

Out in the rain last evening the little girl stopped to gaze at the light pouring out from a gap in the storm clouds. Enthralled with a glimpse of heaven, she had tears in her eyes.

May we always see the light beyond the darkness.

june 24th

We give thanks for birthday of the man who put the love of creation and of God in our hearts.

june 24th

peonies

I love these fragrant heralds of summer. Bold, pink masses.

I wish my mom could come and sit on our porch and enjoy them. Last month I wondered if she would be here to enjoy the apple blossoms, and they have come and gone. Then I wondered if she would see the lilacs and I brought her some. Next I wondered about the yellow lilies and I brought them to the hospital room. Likewise the peonies, I picked some for her and some for myself. I brought them to the hospital room and I put them on our table at home.

We make pancakes, the little guy and I, and I wonder about mom. I fold laundry and wonder about mom. I teach the little ones and I think of mom. I wake up at night and wonder how she feels in her new hospice bed. I sit and the computer and cry for her, and for dad, and for us. I search my mind, search the internet: is their nothing else that we can do?

And He, who makes all things new says "Come". He, with the scarred hands and feet calls "Come". And she, the priestess with the scarred hands and feet stands at the Jordan. Hesitant, timid, waiting for the courage to step forward and part the waters. And we, wait for prophetic words to still our aching hearts. Again.

Across the waters He calls, "Come", and stands with crown in hand.

He promised that He will return one day, but until then he calls to his beloved, one at a time.

The peonies drop their petals in the rain, and make way for the next blossoms.

in the garden

Suspended, fragile in time

and we are blessed by the beauty

of misting rain.

sunday

Fragrant lilies, from our garden, stand on the shelf in mom's hospital room where she lays fragile in her bed.

Two days ago we thought that the end was near, and it was okay; she was in pain and having trouble breathing. The ambulance took her to the hospital. Now she lays bright eyed in bed.

We are gifted, again, with more time. Showered with her love. Blessed by her smile. Thankful for her words.

hope

sometimes hope changes colours

when glory waits

cardinal

bumble bee

bridal wreath blossoms

There is an abundance of blossoms in the Bridal Wreath this year.

A veil of white covering sagging stems.

Tiegreen asked in his devotional, "Are you going through a difficult trial? Relinquish your goals in it. In your heart, transfer ownership of the situation to God. Our anxiety comes from a false sense of control- a sense that we perhaps are responsible to manipulate the crisis to work out for good. That's God's job. Let go of your will, and let your heart and your mind be at peace."

I try to search out ways in which mom can be helped at this late hour, somehow there must be some alternative treatment, something that can pull her back to us. Visions of mom and dad in a pleasant quiet home with lovely gardens come to mind. Birds and blooms and books. Quiet and peaceful.

But the place God is preparing is better than anything I could imagine. The garment of white awaits her. And we are quiet and at peace.

sunshine

Her second hand shirt says,

"Sunshine in my hair

grass beneath my feet"!

Just so she stands playing tunes for the little black dog.

And the sunshine is also in her heart

and the love of green lifts her spirit,

and spills out of her heart,

and I wonder about talents given in fives or twos or singly,

and am humbled by the responsibility

of nurturing nature to double these gifts.

And when the mothers brought their precious little ones to Him,

he took them and held them and blessed them.

And when I bring my children to Him

He will undoubtedly hold them and bless them.

They are precious to Him.